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    Friendship dating courtship and marriage

    Our attitude to dating is not so much a matter of church policy but a matter of family government.Laying a solid foundation in this area is a parental reponsibility, but the church has a responsibility to hold the family accountable to the Word of God.Dating is in direct contradiction of the following scriptures that admonish us to flee youthful lusts (Eph ; 2Tim ); flee fornication (1Cor ). It is naive to think that an invitation to a Bible study has no romantic connotations, or to think that any form of male/female touching is not sexual - a "touch" is sexual. The prevalence of date rape proves that it is impossible for a woman to guarantee she can say no, after one hour of introductory intimacy."Flee" is not merely refraining from sexual intercourse, it means staying away as far as possible from the beginning of the process. It seeks self-satisfaction apart from the responsibilities of marriage. It ignores the biological facts of human sexuality.Ask yourself these questions: "Which is more biblical? " In earlier times, all courtship included rigid supervision and protection of the female.It was built on the premise of family introductions, and the focus was on the father's role in establishing a new family, hence the question in the marriage ceremony, "Who gives this woman away?Most parents think it is cute and natural to see their children's growing fascination with the opposite sex.

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    Finally, it is naive to think that it is all a matter of self-control. Self-control means refraining from sexual touch of any kind, at least until covenantal engagement.

    We are confronted with a massive predominance of amorality. It remains true that it is very unlikely that a girl will get pregnant if she does not go on a date.

    But the practice of dating has transformed the nature of teenage sexuality. It robs a man of the inheritance of an unspoiled wife, and robs the institution of the family of its true foundation. It is naive to think that a woman is able to make decisions limiting sexual activity in an unsupervised context.

    The test is Rom - "true love does no harm to a neighbour and fulfills the law." So we must find a lawful way for our young people to fall in love and prepare for marriage. It is an established cultural norm to be followed without further question.

    Most parents continue to allow dating because it is the way that they did things in their day, and they believe that they survived.

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